110216MOLECH
sick.
they weep that i have
assumed the aspect of molech
covered in blood
to escape this rat-cage
but it feels as if his hands
on my heels are slick with oils
and the seductive sting
of morphine
©
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©2006-2009 `frail
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from a dream
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June 24, 2006
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Comments
--
"dwell in possibility."-emily dickinson
I love it, and you.
--
Interviewer: Can you recall an exact moment when you decided to become a writer?
Hemingway: No, I always wanted to be a writer.
Passenger: Since Jun 4th, 2001
it has a faintly lyrical quality...
...compelling, as always.
- the last two lines in the first stanza seem a little weird. Their sonics don't match up perfectly with the first two lines of stanza one. It's not a huge deal or anything, but you might want to consider fiddling with the word choice a bit to get the sounds just right. Of course, you don't want to compromise the meaning just for the sonics.
+ The last stanza is perfect. The sonics are phenomenal and the images conjured in conjunction with the sonics are striking and stick with you.
+ The general mood is very elegaic and somber. I love poems like that.
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This never happened. It will shock you how much it never happened.
Anyway, was just going to say that this is my favorite poem of yours in a long time. Really wonderful work.
--
This never happened. It will shock you how much it never happened.
--
<breathing explosions of amalgamated thought>
Up the city steps
From the adulteress who bore him,
Crying for wisdom's house
At the next street corner.
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Don't people realize that greatness is kissing aaaaaaasss? Mediocrity! Yes! Improper usage of exclamation points! Love it!!!!1. Mediocrity as I was saying. Is! The Way tO0 fr33d0rm. No one bothers 2 influence u wen ur medioconquer.
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she who loves screwing daddy: screw.
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